Grandmaworm - Is it OK to cry aloud or yell?

Dear Grandma,

I find it very difficult to interact with my father. The reason I believe is his long stay at Bangalore owing to his work commitment. He was away for more than eight years. The communication gap between us makes me very sad. How am I to fulfill this gap?

- S.Madhumitha, Std. X, Sri Maharishi Vidya Mandir, Erode.

Dear Madhumitha,

According to you, your father's prolonged stay in Bangalore makes it difficult for you to interact with him. This cannot be a proper reason, for, a long separation should normally pave way for more affection and yearning to communicate. Even if you are hesitant, your father can break the ice with a jovial conversation as often as possible.

However, his silence does not mean that he has no affection for you. Some people are introverts by nature. They don't talk often and mostly keep their thoughts within themselves. The opposite of this person is an extrovert who expresses his feelings over all matters that catch his attention. Perhaps your father belongs to the former type. Your mother should know. Ask her. That said, it is not good to keep yourself aloof and allow a silent wall to be created gradually between yourself and your father. Begin the conversation in a natural manner and build up intimacy step by step. For instance, when you come across a news item in the morning paper regarding Bangalore, you can raise a doubt over the subject. He will be happy to explain, since he is familiar with the city and its people. Once a beginning is in place, filial affection will take care of continued exchange of thoughts and ideas. Wish you all success in your efforts.

My mother says I am old enough to go alone to nearby places like shops. But I am not confident and feel scared to talk to people. What should do?

- Ashya. A, Std. VII, Sindhi Middle School Chenna

Dear Ashya,

Since you say you are studying in the Seventh Standard, I presume that you should be twelve years old. This is the right age to start visiting neighbours and nearby places. You can help your parents by running errands or doing a little bit of shopping for them. It is natural for a boy or girl to be hesitant to step out alone initially. To overcome this, you can take an elderly person along with you for a few days and do the shopping under his or her care. After a couple of days, your self confidence would have improved immensely and you will no longer need a chaperon. However, don't be over confident and go too far from home. Avoid talking to strangers and follow the road rules for safety.

Do you think it is okay to cry aloud or yell?

- Anonymous

Dear Anon,

There is a feeling among some psychologists that it is better to yell if you are angry and to cry if you are in grief. They say that these acts take away the tension built up in your mind and relax you, thereby preventing blood pressure from rising. In the days past, when death occurred in a family, there used to be breast beating and loud woeful singing. Nowadays, we look upon crying aloud or yelling in anger as undignified and not fit for cultured people. But such self control is not easy when unexpected tragedy strikes or when some grave injustice is faced. Yoga and Dyana help to control our emotions to a certain extent. To become a 'Sthithapragya' as described in the Geetha, strong attachment to the Almighty is needed and the belief that everything happens according to His dictates. Such a person will be able to look upon all events, good or bad, with equanimity.

I want to become a news reporter when I grow up. What exactly is a reporter's job? Is it different from being a journalist?

- M.Gagen, Std.VIII, St. Joseph's School, Bangalore.

Dear Gagen,

Any person who works in or for the editorial section of a print media is referred to as a journalist. A reporter is part of the editorial team. To begin with, you have to make up your mind as to the language in which you wish to report. Fluency in that language is a prime requirement. You must be able to report in a simple manner and without grammatical errors. Then you have to decide as to what kind of reporter you want to be. There are news reporters, feature writers, interviewers, science reporters, crime reporters and so on. You have to understand what is said, take notes and then write without any mistake in words or thought.

It is common for politicians to say that they were misreported. A small recorder will come in handy to avoid such accusations. A camera or cell phone camera would be an additional advantage. Your report must be interesting to read from top to bottom. The first few lines and the catchy headline must hook the reader and make him read the entire column. You can learn a lot by joining a college which has a faculty for journalism or mass media. But the best teacher is your own experience in the field under the guidance of a renowned editor.

Love Grandmaworm